Random Lessons from UFC

Ineffective camo deployment...

Watching men alternately grapple and bleed all over each other isn't really my thing, but since I rained myself out of Oregon Country Fair, this will have to pass for a weekend update...

• Genetic diversity = myth. Everybody in the ring looked eerily similar to a former flame.
• European swim trunks = underrated. As if I weren't outspoken enough about boxer-briefs, that extra stitch of spandex may keep your pulled groin muscle in place the extra 2 rounds, w00t.
• Fake wrestling negates "Minnesota Nice." See: Lesnar & Jesse Ventura.
• The Puritan Work Ethic. It's not enough to police the mean streets of Brazil, walking onto your college wrestling team, grinding your way to the top, and walking off the captain (while keeping lifestyle a secret) prevails.
• You've got to be conscious for the seductive British accent to work... and men seem to be immune to it.
• The more surface area and pallor you have, the more tattoos are required to camoflage your movements.